I have an anxious 5 year old. She is super intelligent - understanding a little too much sometimes. It also makes it's too easy to treat her like she is older. Over the past two months she has become needy, weepy, worried about everything, suffering separation anxiety, - she is mix of a 2 year old and a grown up who is stressed out. First she was worried about twisters because she saw one on the news, then it was the dark, then it was me leaving her. The one thing she will not talk about is starting Kindergarten. She starts in 3 weeks and I really believe once it is no longer this big unknown scary thing - things will improve.
Because of all this - bedtime has become HELL on earth. We tried super nanny tricks, threats, punishments, cuddling, coddling, bribing, you name it. When I looked up anxiety and 5 year olds - it was stressful to me. They list the top stressors for this age group as:
Having a major illness (she had kidney surgery last summer)
Watching a sick parent (she saw way too much of mommy having a miscarriage due to being stuck together in a hotel room and then my issues continuing for another 2 months)
Starting School (3 weeks)
New baby in the family (due in December)
Separation from parents (i did go back to work 2-3 days a week and while she likes where she goes - she does ask me to not go somedays)
This was sad for me because all I could think was "what else can I do to stress out my child???"
She has always been very intuitive about others' emotional status. Very in tune with others and very sensitive. One cross word tends to shatter her while one big compliment brings smiles galore. I have realized that as frustrating as it is to me when she doesn't go to bed - whatever is going on in her head is major for her. While I am not going to let her rule this house and stay up all night - I am trying to be more loving and supportive - knowing that it will pass. I will try not to get cranky when she follows me around the house all day and I can't go into another room by myself at all. Right now she needs me and for now i have to put her needs before mine - there will be alone time for me in the future. My goal now is to let her know that she is loved, supported and I am her safe place to fall if she needs it!
