I was thinking today how I don't write anymore. I used to write all the time - stories, poems, scenes from plays. It's been a year since I even wrote something on here. I can't believe it. Granted this year has been super hectic but I owe it to myself to find that creative outlet at least occasionally! My goal is to do this at least once a week whether anyone actually reads it or not!
A summary of the past year:
My anxious 5 year old (Schmoo) is now an anxious 6 year old. Still obsessed with tornados but improving in other areas. She had a good kindergarten year and will be starting first grade day after tomorrow. In some ways she is better mostly because I have learned how to handle her worries. In some ways we have regressed but I guess each day is a step. She is so smart, so empathetic, so caring - I just want her to be a kid and leave the worry to me! When we find things that "make" her a 6 year old - we try to do them over and over. This past weekend the whole family went camping. At the park was a carousel. When G. rode it - her face was relaxed yet excited. My husband was so touched by how happy it made her that we all had to ride it the second time!
My 2 year old is now a very spirited 3 year old. She used to be the baby - now she has been given the title of The Middle Child. When she was an infant, her older sister showed her jealousy in ways we expected. Whenever anyone would play with Sugarbug - Schmoo would start saying "look at me" and find something to get the attention on her. Sugarbug has a different approach to this. When her baby brother is getting any attention, she doesn't try to get our attention - she tries to get his! She is literally and figuratively trying to smother him with love. She is always on him, touching him, singing (screaming) in his face, kissing and sometimes even hiding him under pillows! She has lost her fearlessness that she had last year. Now dogs and large boys scare her (the boy part from an evil neighbor who scared her). I hope this passes and some of her fearlessness returns - it was such an awesome light shining from her!
We have now added BooBoo bear to our family - an adorable, happy 7 month old boy who fills me up and drains me at the same time! We all love him so and I can't imagine life without him. He will be so protected by his big sisters that I feel sorry for future friends who are ever mean to him! He definitely has daddy's heart and my late night breastfeeding/covering his head with kisses sessions are something I look forward to no matter how sleepy I am.
This year has been tough learning to juggle a school aged child, a preschooler and a newborn but we have done it! We are thoroughly exhausted, surrounded by a house full of clutter (no time to fix any of that right now) and poorer than I have ever been in my life. At the same time - my heart is full. I am almost 37 years old but to me August/September is the start of the new year for me. I am eternally on a "school" schedule. I know this year is going to be great. The energy will return, the clutter will either slowly trickle out or take over, the money will improve, I will find time to express myself in some way and our lives will continue of this crazy, hectic journey.
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